Motivation

"Hello? Are we running today or quitting? Either is fine with me."

That is the text I sent to my running partner Andre today. Did I really want to quit? Was I trying to push him a little bit? The answers I think are obvious. No, I don't really want to quit yet. Yes, I was goading him on. The thing is, the underlying truth is, at this point, this early, I wouldn't have minded quitting. Not too much. I needed him to tell me," HELL NO! WE ARE NOT QUITTING!"  That is exactly what he did and I thank him, and when we got out there and ran better than we have, and yes I know it's still early, and we ran like we did the last time we attempted this, I felt great. It was an amazing workout and I felt strong, I felt young and I felt manly. I was glad I didn't quit.

The problem is, early on, anything you do, it is easy to give up. "I don't think I like this.", " This isn't what I signed on for.", " It's not what I expected.", " I don't really have time.","It's to HARD." We find excuses that we convince ourselves are reasons why we don't do something life changing. It's easier to our sense of ego when we can convince ourselves that the circumstances of our failure are out of our control. "I have school.", " I have kids.", " I work crazy hours.", " I was injured."  A plethora of excuses so our failure isn't our fault, not a deficit of our character. Seldom do we admit to ourselves," I didn't do it because I wasn't willing to do the work." It is a question of motivation, a question of heart.

This morning when I woke up I did not want to run. Why? A number of REAL reasons. I was out late the night before. I was just a little hung over, just a little. I like doing nothing. I worried that it would make me late for work. Life happened, via text and it was overwhelming and depressing and I just wanted to go back to bed. Being a fat ass 42 year old is way easier than trying to get my life and my health in order. I didn't want to bother and, WOW, it's early on.

Early on is when most of us quit. We have little vested. It's not real. I'm just trying. We lose MOTIVATION. When we start things they seem like a good idea, and often they are. When we find out they may be work, we give up. Our enthusiasm doesn't match our determination. Most great ideas, no, ALL truly great ideas involve work or discomfort and usually both. People who wish they had done something generally are not willing to endure either.

While running today, which was great and just what this depressed body needed today, i reflected on why I didn't want to feel this great feeling of accomplishment and physical rush of endorphins. This is what I came up with. Sometimes things happen, whether beyond your control or as a result of past mistakes, that NOW are beyond your control, and they will steal your motivation. They REALLY do. You may fight depression. Life may just kick your ass. The question is, what am I doing in my life to AMPLIFY these feelings. Lack of sleep does not help you be more motivated. Even just a LITTLE hangover doesn't help you be motivated. I had eaten a big meal just before bed and woke up full. It didn't help.

The point is, it is hard to stay motivated. Life kicks our butts. It is harder when we do things that are counterproductive to the goals we have set for ourselves. Why do things that make it hard to achieve even the smallest of our daily goals? Our daily goals are what are needed to obtain our life goals. I am not saying to not drink. I'm not saying don't stay up and have fun or eat that big meal. What I am saying is do it at the RIGHT time. Don't do it the night before you train, have a big test, big day at work. You fill in your blank and your vice that steals your motivation and keeps you from achieving the life you want.

You are living the life you earned right now. Earn a better one.

As an afterthought, but it shouldn't be. Thank you again Andre for providing the motivation and the accountability today when I wasn't motivated to do what I really wanted to do. I didn't position myself to to be ready and you helped me push myself to continue when I could have remained apathetic instead.